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As a famous woman once said...

3 August, 2014 - 08:01pm by - First Lady | 19 Comments

Article by BR Natalie

There are no ugly women, only lazy ones - Helena Rubenstein

Cosmetics tycoon Helena Rubinstein was born poor in Krakow, Poland in 1872.  Her family was large and debt ridden.  The eight Rubinstein daughters were raised taking care of their looks - for the simple reason their father would never be able to pay a dowry.  Back in those days a woman's aim in life was to find a solvent and preferably likeable husband.  That was all. 

No matter how busy her day, how tired she felt, Rubinstein always took the time to follow her mother's beauty routine.  She brushed her hair 100 times to make it shine, used fresh cold water to cleanse her face and used her favourite moisturiser. 

Helena Rubinstein ended up leaving her poverty stricken life and moving to America, where she single-handedly built a billion dollar cosmetics empire.  She was a workaholic, who could never be accused of idleness.  And despite not being a 'conventional beauty' men were enchanted by her.

She sold the idea that any woman could be beautiful with discipline.  And that beauty could be bought.  When any woman uses the right cosmetic her natural beauty can be enhanced dramatically.  And it is a woman's duty, to herself, to be as beautiful as she can.

 Old fashioned people may protest and bewail the modern preoccupation in the cultivation of beauty as a manifestation of the laxness of the times. But I shall continue to regard it as a duty, and a virtue, as well as a distinct pleasure.The Art of Feminine Beauty - Helena Rubinstein.  1930.

You might be wondering where I'm going with article.  Those of you who are familiar with the Beauty Crew will know we are huge believers in natural beauty.  Every woman is beautiful and every woman should feel beautiful.  We're also very accepting of the fact that beauty products are there to help us look and feel more beautiful.  We know that some women are completely comfortable in their looks and do not enjoy nor feel the need to use, beauty products and that's wonderful.  However, we remain unapologetic of our love of beauty products. 

There are no ugly women, only lazy ones.

Perhaps the biggest issue feminists have with this quote is the word ugly.  Calling someone ugly is cruel and demeaning.  But here's the thing - at some point all women will feel ugly and it doesn't take someone saying 'you are ugly' to make them feel that way.  Don't read this quote as someone pointing the finger - that woman is ugly, she must be lazy.  It's more personal than that.  I feel ugly, why do I feel ugly? 

I don't think I've ever been called ugly.  But I know for a fact I've felt it.  A lot.  Looking in the mirror and hating my dull skin.  My sallow eyes.  My lack-lustre hair.  So I put the time in, be it spending 10 minutes on my skincare routine, taking the time to detangle my hair gently instead of raking the brush through it or actually taking the time to get more sleep, and the majority of the time, I feel good about myself. 

When we ask questions like 'tell us why you'd like a spot on this trial' we hear things like, "I'm a busy mum and I don't have time to spend on myself, I want to feel pretty again" or "I can never be bothered to take my makeup off at night so my skin is awful, I hate it"

The solution to their feelings and concerns is already in their answers - like any negative feeling, you need to spend time addressing it.

Personally what I don't understand is women who complain they're unhappy with their appearance but choose not to do anything about it.  What gets my goat are women who choose to call people who do take the time to spend on their beauty routines vain, attention seeking, or even selfish.

I'm a busy mama. My day ends at midnight and begins at 5am.  I work full time (some might say I'm a workaholic, I just love my job).  I keep my house (and the husband) clean and tidy. I raise my bestest buddy (who is the reason I'm out of bed at that ungodly hour).  Yet I am seldom unkempt.  I should say I'm not talking about a full face of makeup, my attitude to makeup is generally 'as little as I can get away with' . Yes I have lazy days, where I might wear no make up or tie my hair back in a messy bun - but my hair is clean, my face is washed and moisturised.  Why?  Because it's important to me.  I don't like feeling down about my appearance so I make the time everyday to feel good about myself.  This doesn't make me vain.  It certainly doesn't make me selfish or a bad mother.  It makes me feel good therefore I approach my day and anything I encounter feeling positive and strong within myself.

Of course, I'm still not 100% happy with every part of me.  I despise my feet.  Luckily I can cover them up, until I motivate myself to spend some time on them! But I know the fate of my feet is in my hands.  I'm choosing not to make the time to beautify them, knowing full well, they won't do it themselves!

So I guess the point of this article is if you feel ugly - firstly know that you are not.  Secondly, spend some time on yourself so that you can put a lid on your insecurities and feel good about yourself. Are you a busy mum, feeling fed up of smelling like baby spit up?  Don't grab 'a quick shower', feeling you must be back to mummy duties asap.  Let your hubby, sister or friend sit with the baby and give yourself permission to shower for as long as you need to. Wash your hair, condition your hair, cleanse your face, exfoliate your body.  Trust me, you might not feel you have an extra 10 minutes to spare, but take it anyway.  The rest of your day will feel much easier when you approach it feeling great.

Can't be bothered to take off your makeup at night?  Do it anyway.  Staying up an extra 5 minutes isn't going to do you any harm, whereas the cycle of sleeping in your makeup, waking up with blemishes and breakouts, feeling bad about them and trying to treat them is emotion and time wasted.

Feeling drab?  Don't leave the house in your pjs or slippers.  Run a brush through your hair.  Moisturise your face.  Put on some mascara.  Curb the lazy route and you'll soon feel great.

And now, like always, we want to hear your thoughts.  Did Madame Rubinstein hit the nail on the head, however uncomfortable it may be to agree with her words?  Do you think laziness has a part to play in women feeling ugly?  Are you so busy you have no time for yourself, or if you really look at it, does laziness play a part?

Get chatting below!

 

 

 

 

Comments

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16th August, 2014

I interpret this statement somewhat differently. I feel what is being said here is that all women are beautiful, some of us just need to work a little harder at making that beauty shine. I totally agree with that. We don't often have full control over our skin type, whether our skin is flawless or our pores are the right size. But with a little bit of help, our natural beauty can shine through. For me personally, my skin is dry and sallow, I still have acne scars that don't want to go away, a few freckles on one cheek, my eyebrows grow out way too fast, and so does my upper lip, my hair is frizztastic, and super dry and I often have weird fly aways. But give me 20-30 minutes every morning and I walk out of that bathroom feeling like a star. Nothing a bit of effort doesn't fix... :)

15th August, 2014

Oh yes, it makes perfect sense. I have so many memeories of feeling so bad [years ago as a single parent/benficiary] I would sneak out of the house after dark in a long coat over a ripped Tshirt to go to the supermarket "disguised". It wasn't laziness though, it was exhaustion on top of stress and poverty. I'm pretty sure I would have looked as bad as I felt. It certainly makes a difference to take the time to pull on some decent clothes and have a wash and comb, and then feel equal to the rest of the world. Nowadays I look at other women who look as if they feel downtrodden and sad and hope they also find a way to feel beautiful and feminine and worthy. I don't think they're lazy though, I think they just don't have the energy or resources to put themselves before their families - or to do anything to pamper themselves. It is timely to think that Foodbank/Salvation Army might be able to help these women with some donations of beauty products even brushes/combs/deodorants/talcum as well as other nice things if anyone would like to donate some :) At our work last year we donated personal care products to foodbank as they were requested for teens, maybe this years christmas donations could include some pretty things to help our sisters feel beautiful :) :)

14th August, 2014

I know I feel ugly when I am lazy with my appearance.

Just a simple mascara can make me feel so much better.

A shower even, then some clean clothes or even doing my hair. So yes. Maybe.. :) 10-20 minutes out of a day is easy :)

8th August, 2014

She was one awesome woman, yes take pride in your appearance, I've always tried to look after my skin, and when I have a makeup free day I've deep conditioned my hair face mask nails etc and just one rule never never answer the door.

7th August, 2014

Well said and I totally agree! When you feel that you look good on the outside, it can change how you are feeling on the inside... I always pay attention to my appearance and don't care if anybody thinks it's vanity. I work, have 3 kids and a busy house to run. I also take care of my health and well being. I most often dress up to go to do routine things like going to the supermarket or picking the kids up from school. I'm not waiting for a special occasion! I said to my husband that my kids will think it's funny but he said "they'll remember that you were beautiful" haha, so sweet!

6th August, 2014

I just read a biography on this amazing lady written by Michele Fitoussi...she was so ahead of her time. She is bang on.

6th August, 2014

love this article so much. Always take some time out to make yourself feel presentable. Some weekends, I'll laze about in my PJ's and won't leave the house, I'm good with that. But other weekends, I'll get up and make the effort only to go into town and see people who should probably just have stayed at home as they have taken NO pride in their appearance.

It's not about wearing a full face of makeup if you don't feel like it, but there's absolutely no reason to go out looking like complete rubbish.

6th August, 2014

Lovely, well-written article that I completely agree with BR Nat. I feel so much better about myself when I put the effort into my appearance and that is reflected in making me better at work and in my social life too. It's really not about being 'vain' or anything like that which is what some people seem to think.

6th August, 2014

I've always stuck to a good skincare routine. It was many years before I felt confident enough to leave the house with out makeup but about four years I reached that point. Now I don't wear makeup often especially since as a student I don't need to, but whenever there's work, a dinner out or we go out with friends, I'll do full makeup and even if I come home past midnight I'll always shower and thoroughly remove my makeup. My skin is something I'm going to have for the rest of my life and if I want to age gracefully I've got to take as good care of it as my budget allows. Rain or shine, indoors or temporarily outdoors I apply a good layer of my spf 25 moisturizer. I use serums or facial oils daily. I eat lots of vegetables and fruit and drink 4-6 cups of tea a day. I spend a good amount of my income on skincare. I do think some women probably are forgetful to stick to a routine or remove their makeup, maybe they don't see it as a priority. I could count on one hand the number of times I've slept with makeup on and a number of those times was when I didn't have the facilities to wash my face and hadn't heard of wipes before as a teen. I do think some people need their makeup to feel good and confident, I used to be like that. A few years ago before meeting my bf I liked the idea of what you see is what you get. I figured that if he didn't like me without makeup and wasn't used to seeing me without it then he wasn't going to like what woke up on the pillow next to him in the morning. It's also the same reason why I never wear padded bras, what they see ain't what they're going to get and they have to like what they're going to get or else they're going to be disappointed in that moment of truth. However, for fun one day I do want to see what I'll look like a dolled up Asian eye makeup look with falsies, eyelid tape, colored contacts and lots of winged liner and eyeshadow. I bet I would look amazing. I just can't look like that always or even half the time.

5th August, 2014

Yep sounds like me. By the time Ive cleaned the house, got kids ready for school. Done my workout on the exercise bike. Its nearly midday. Havent showered until after lunch. Sometimes I can get into the shower early if Ive sorted everything out before hand.I only get to wear make up when I go away from home. I just don't have time to do myself up like I used to.

5th August, 2014

I love this article! We are human and have lazy days but I do agree, laziness can prevnt you from looking your best, and when you do make an effort you look better on the outside and feel better on the inside :)

4th August, 2014

That was a great article and I agree with it completely. Since I have become a member of BR and become more interested in beauty products and make up my night time beauty routine has got longer. My skin thanks me for it and it shows. I now wear make up every weekday to work even though I'm in the office with the same colleagues everyday. I usually wear a bit of makeup in the weekends too and it helps me feel more put together. I think since becoming a Mummy it has helped my interest in all things beauty really develop because it's now my thing that is totally separate from Mummy duty and really is just for me. There's nothing better than escaping for half an hour to do a face mask and unwind for a little bit. Some of the girls at work tell me frequently that I have good skin and don't need to wear makeup but they don't get it. Beauty has become a hobby for me and I love what I can achieve with the amazing array of products that are out there waiting for us! Gosh that got a bit deep but yes I think if you work at beauty it will pay off in many more aspects than just your appearance :)

4th August, 2014

I can honestly say that I didn't take as much care of my skin as i do now since I joined BR. I also didn't wear as much make up as I do now. Im definitely not vein, I just look after my skin better and take a bit more pride in myself. It actually makes me feel better about myself too :-)

4th August, 2014

This was such a thought-provoking article! I know that when I don't make an effort to look put-together in the morning, I always regret it and feel really bleurgh all day, while as when I take the time to wear a pretty necklace or do my hair nicely or wear a bit of makeup (and yes, I'm not ashamed to admit that I do wear at least concealer, blush and mascara every day!), I feel way more confident in myself. Ultimately, I do what I do for myself and my own good, including spending time on my appearance. :)

4th August, 2014

What a great pick me up article :) I agree that you need to take 'me time' out of a busy schedule to do the things that make you happy and keep you feeling on top of the game!

Mira
16th August, 2014

Totally agree with you. I think as women, we're not taught to self care enough, as much as we're taught to care for others.