By BR Kellie
Is there anything sadder than a Christmas cracker that doesn't go off with a bang? Literally and metaphorically. Whenever a cracker fails to deliver I wonder if one of Santa's elves curls up and dies. There's just nothing all that joyous about bad dad jokes and plastic paperclips that will only end up in the landfill. Luckily for us, the beauty industry's out to change all that. They're bringing joy to the elves hearts - the beauty elves anyway... with their range of Christmas beauty crackers that are gettting more fab and festive every year. Sure, they may not go off with a literal bang, but they've got all that and more in metaphorical bang status.
So what's out there to get us all crack-happy? Check these out...
Jo Malone London Christmas Cracker
We don't know that it gets any more luxe than this... but we'd be stoked to see a Jo Malone Christmas Cracker sitting pretty at our table place setting come Christmas!
Marc Jacobs Beauty Anything Go-Gos Mascara and Lipstick Duo Cracker
Speaking of luxe... Marc Jacobs' Anthing Go-Gos Mascara and Lipstick Duo Cracker is sure to bring a smile to a beauty lover's dial.
Vanilla Sugar Tropical Cracker Pack
A touch more affordable (at $12.99 for a pack of five) are these crackers, each containing either a bath bomb or a lip balm.
All I want for Christmas is a lovely hand cream, because cooking and cleaning and doing the washing up for all the family that's visiting is going to leave my hands wrecked! Joking, roster system!... but any excuse to ask for a beautiful hand cream, like the one in the Ecoya Christmas cracker, right? And how elegant is that packaging!?
Containing a deluxe-sized Better Than Sex and Melted Matte-Tallic Lipstick, we think this offering from Too Faced would go off with a bang.
Lancôme, how much do we love your take on the Christmas cracker? Let us count the ways. A festive-coloured lippy in L'absolue Rouge, Mini Drama Maccara and the divine scent of La Vie Est Belle. Très Bien!
L'Occitane Kit To Share Holiday Cracker
Imagine these beauties sitting beside your place settings on Christmas Day. So much better than a bad joke and a hat that rips in two hot seconds. SO. MUCH. BETTER.
Sephora Collection Midgnight Skincare Surprise
Is your skin showing the effects of too much holiday fun? This could be the cracker you'll want to get the winning end of! With a soothing and nourishing coconut face mask, de-puffing cucumber eye mask, pore-perfecting pineapple nose mask and a repairing almond hand balm it'll help nourish and love your skin back to its pre-party season self.
Linden Leaves Crystal Crush Bon Bon
The magic of minis continues with this beautiful bon bon from New Zealand brand Linden Leaves, featuring a Rose Quartz Nourishing Hand Cream, Organic White Tea Lip Balm and Miraculous Facial Oil all in cutie patootie sizes.
After the excitement of opening pressies, dealing with family feuds, fights and fun, followed by eating all the food wears off, this would be the bonbon I'd want to see the most. With an eye mask and Deep Sleep Pillow Spray, you'll be off to the land of nod in no time.
Ah, and now I'm recalling The Great Christmas Pavlova Feud of 2012 and looking even more forward to seeing what this Christmas brings... Hopefully lots of these crackers! Would you love to see these at your table this year? Which ones do you think go off? Are there any misfires in there? Chat away!
Will be looking out for these for next Christmas