Getting Older. It's a bit odd really.

Article by BR Merilyn

Getting older is a bit odd really, odd because on one hand, it means you’re still alive, and lets face it, who doesn’t want to make old bones? But on the other hand, when we’re young – and dreaming what our life will be, doesn’t the dream always stop at a certain point?  Yes we dream of travel, kids, meeting “the one” , maybe how successful we’re going to be, but doesn’t the planning stop right there?

It seems like yesterday I was screaming round the USA with a busload of Aussies that I’d never met on an eight week Contiki tour. New York, Washington, Philadelphia, Florida, Miami, Vegas, partying until dawn, sleeping the miles away on the bus the next day, and then starting over –my biggest worry, how many Hurricanes  (drink of choice in New Orleans) can I drink?  Looking back, it was one of the best times of my life.

Stop, fast forward 20 years and here we are today, the Walkman has been long retired and the Twin Towers also long gone.  And me?  Well, I’m now looking down the barrel of 50! Christ 50! Can this be true?  Ok, I do hasten to assure you that it is still a wee way off…but still, it is the NEXT significant milestone, and one, frankly, I’m not really looking forward to if truth be known.

“When did this happen?” I cried to a friend the other day. She just shrugged, she’s already there; we flatted together when we were in our 20s, danced on the tables at the Ponamo on the North Shore, and shared more boy stories and blue and white spotted dresses, than we probably want to remember.  That too, seems like yesterday.  So where does the time go?

I’m not too sure of the answer but what I do know is that nature is both wonderful and sometimes unexplained.  Like the wonders of pregnancy when your body expands and changes, and your organs physically move inside you to accommodate this new life you are carrying, so in some weird way does your acceptance of getting older.  Here are some examples, if you are over 30 you may already be experiencing these;

• You dream of owning your own home, Cosmopolitan magazines and your daily latte are exchanged for home magazines and putting that $4 per day in a savings jar – every little bit counts right?
• “Who wants to go to the opening of the new bar? “ comes the cry from your single bestie. You mentally add up the cost of a taxi into town, the cost of the drinks, and how you’ll feel the next day, and make your excuses.
• In, is the new “out”! Who has the energy to go out after work anymore, anyway? And the cost! My god the cost!
• You accept that you’re never going to look like Elle Macphearson. Thankfully your job, unless you’re a bikini model, (in which case you probably DO look like Elle Macphearson) doesn’t demand you wear a bikini to work. You finally decide to let it go.
• Shortland Street gives way to Coronation Street
• Your biggest pleasure is seeing the world through your kids’ achievements – who knew?

So with age comes wisdom right?  (Apparently) This might not be wisdom, but still, here, in no particular order, are some of the things I’ve learnt in my lifetime;

1. The best way to predict the future is...to create it.  You want to be a vet, make a career out of beauty blogging, start a beauty website?  Off you go.  Don’t wait to be asked. Sure the road might be scary and hard.  Life’s hard.  Get used to it!
2. It’s ok to want to do nothing but sit on the couch on a Friday or Saturday night, get takeaways and watch a movie, don’t feel guilty that you should be doing something else; at any age.
3. CROCS,  are visual pollution and should never be worn, by you or anyone. Do the world a favour and NEVER let these into your home, or put these on your or your children’s feet!
4. The most precious thing to me (outside of my family) is my time.  I’m not ashamed to say I look for shortcuts. Frozen potato means we can have mashed potato in 5 mins, and I’m happy to pay for not having to peel and cook spuds myself.  I clean the rooms in the house we visit frequently and the rest can wait.  The oven makes a great hiding place for dirty dishes if someone drops in unexpectedly.  If an acquaintance I don’t particularly like asks us to dinner, sorry we’re busy.  You need to learn to prioritise.
5. And just on that. No one controls your time …but you!  Feeling overwhelmed, too busy at work, too many demands on your time?   Ultimately, the only person who decides where they spend their time is...you.  If you’re too busy at work, speak to your boss.   Too many demands on your time at home? Get the family to bunk in!  I no longer go for a run at 6.30am and then burst into the house at 7.30am screaming like a harridan for people to get up and get going, starting the day for me and everyone else in the house on a bad note.  Child (9) knows what needs to be done prior to going to school, there is someone in the house other than me to get things cranking. Now I just come back, make myself breakfast and let them sort it out.. trust me, they do.
6. Don’t carry grudges. Life as they say, is too short.  Tell the person how you feel and give your point of view. Accept you might need to meet them half way.  Often it takes less energy to make up and compromise than to carry on feeling pissed off.
7. Give some thought how you can “give back”, find something that touches you and do what you can for them, maybe it is your time, maybe you give some money to them? My Father died of lung cancer 5 years ago. He spent 3 weeks in the Dunedin Hospice – the people that work there are seriously angels that have fallen to earth – I currently give the hospice a good donation each year, but soon hope to do more.
8. Teach your kids that they are not “entitled” to anything.  The world does not “owe them”, nor, in fact, revolve around them.  Rather, they “owe” the world to grow up to be good responsible citizens.  We have taught our daughter that we will give her love and financial and emotional support in what ever she chooses to do.  However should she wish to express her creativity at her school by rebelling against the school rules, she’ll be told to pull her head in and get on with it.  WE won’t be funding a court case for her to get her own way.
9. The Tudors is one of the best mini series EVER – Jonathan Rhys Myers…grrrrrrr – stop it!
10. You always get a better result from the carrot rather than the stick.  If you’ve got an issue you can't solve, the first step is to ask someone to resolve it for you.  Ask them nicely, and you'll probably get the help you need.  Some of the emails we receive at BR wanting our help involve 4 letter words that are most unbecoming of a lady.  “Please” and “thank you” go a long way.  Abusing anyone in customer service and expecting something nice at the end of it, is a bit like abusing the lovely Beauty Review crew and thinking you’ll be put on a trial anytime soon.  Manners open many a door.  Rudeness has it hitting you on your behind on the way out.

So there you have it…anything to add you other oldies?