The Worst Beauty Trends Ever!

images: istock and wikimedia

Article by BR Amelia

We all have them, those moments that our mind flashes back to that cause us to flush with embarrassment. Times we wish we could forget. Things we’d done we’d give up our best hair day to go back and change. But the past is the past, and there’s only one thing we can do to learn from our mistakes – and that’s to remember them and remind ourselves never to go there ever again. So ladies, we present to you, the 10 worst makeup trends EVER.

1. 80’s Blush. It’s emblazoned in my mind. I’ll never forget the way my mother would apply her blusher on a night out. Bold, stripy, often in a shade of reddish purple. She was amazing. She was like Melanie Griffith’s big-haired friend in Working Girl. I was in awe. Then I grew up and I wasn’t. I’ll always hold a certain love for that war paint, but there’s no way I want to see it repeated. Ever. Again.

2. Full lid eyeshadow. Some would say that unblended eyeshadow up to the crease should be on this list, but I challenge them to remember the 70s and 80s when so often that eyeshadow would be taken all the way up to the top of your eyebrow, creating a giant wall of colour. Sometimes it was one colour, other times it was a rainbow of colours. It was fierce. It was also very scary. The look pops up in editorial fashion shoots every now and then, but as long as it stays on the pages of a magazine, we’ll be ok.

3. Orange fake tan. The only human shaped form in the world that looks good golden is an Oscar.

4. Foundation lips. We love a good nude, but there’s a difference between a nude lip and a lip that’s the same colour as your foundation or skin. A good nude lip, the same shade or a few shades darker than your true lip colour is flattering, but a beige lip? Well you might as well be in the process of being embalmed, because that’s how alive you look. 

5. Contrasting lip liner. Here at BRHQ we’re quite fond of a slight contrast between liner and lipstick, especially when it’s part of an ombre lip, but when we think back a few decades to when women lined their lips in a dark shade and filled them with a lighter lipstick we involuntarily shudder. It’s just a no, not only because it’s ugly, but it can also upset the balance of your features, and not in a good way, hence why I used the word ‘upset’ and I’m starting to think writing this article is going to leave me traumatised and rocking in a corner saying ‘subtle makeup subtle makeup subtle makeup’. 

6. Black eyes. The irresistible smokey eye. Sultry, sexy, sensational. Except for when you take it too far and you end up looking like you’ve smacked your face into a door and ended up with two black eyes. Avril Lavigne was a big offender in the early noughties, but has since toned the look down (and is looking rather gorgeous!)

7. Foundation overload. So beloved by Kimmy K, it’s the look that makes you appear as if you’ve trowelled your foundation on, then set it with cement. It’s way OTT, and if it looks that bad on camera can you even imagine what it looks like IRL?

8. Barely there lined brows. They’re skinny, they’re dark, they’re scary. Put away the pluckers girls! And if you’ve young women in the house school them on embracing eyebrow hair before the skinny brow brigade get in their ear and make them believe walking around with worms on your forehead is a good thing. 

9. Gallons of glitter. It was a pop princess staple at one point. Glitter on the cheeks, glitter on the eyelids, glitter in the hair, glitter everywhere. People weren’t people they were unicorn farts … except that’s being mean to unicorns, and their farts. 

10. Ah, number 10. I’m going to cheat a little here; I’m going to make a call. A big call. A ‘in ten years time we’ll be shaking our heads and wondering what the heck we were thinking’ kind of call. Overlined lips a la one of those Jenner girls. It’s here. People are doing it. And it looks ridiculous. Even on the professionals it just looks like a line above the lips filled in with lipstick, and while I’m all for adult colouring in books, adult colouring in lips and skin above lips – nah-uh.  

There we have it – the top 10 worst ever make up trends. Did any of them make you duck your head with shame? Were you there embracing them? Did you wish you hadn’t? Or do you think it’s all fun and games until someone loses an eye due to too much glitter?